how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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