bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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