our cab driver is having phone sex.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
