"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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