This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
