So drunk its hurt
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she looked like the before picture.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
