You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
