I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize