she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
