First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
