I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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