he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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