I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
