it wasn't lemon gatorade
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
