Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
