I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
