I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
