the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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