I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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