I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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