hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize