i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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