I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
