Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
