Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Shame is for Republicans.
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