just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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