my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
