2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She said her name was "party"
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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