he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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