My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
