I feel like I'm in dance class right now
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
