what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
