So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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