I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
