im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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