She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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