Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
pray to the hookup gods
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize