he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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