garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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