We're like a lot better than the average bears
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
