dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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