you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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