it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
