The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We have started to decorate penises.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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