Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
3 2 1 whiskey
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
