Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
