WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
FUCK WHALES
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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