Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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