I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
