You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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