I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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