Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
