I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my poor anus
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
