Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
