Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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